Citizens and visitors are being urged to exercise extreme caution when consuming dairy-based products near The Squeeze. According to several eyewitness reports: the local seagull population has developed a sophisticated intercept manoeuvre specifically targeting mango-swirl ice cream cones.

The quiet serenity of North Point was briefly interrupted this morning by a flash of brilliant azure. Harbour Master Barnaby Brightwell confirmed a rare sighting of the Blue-Crested Parrot.